Dear Nigel, Is there a golf course on the moon?

Dear Nigel,

Is there a golf course on the moon? My wife says that she has seen a man playing golf on the moon on TV, albeit some considerable time ago. If there is I would like to go there and play, I am very wealthy and would pay up to £5.80 for the experience which I think will be very exciting, particularly in the early evening when the moon is coming up.

We look forward to your response. My wife says as you are obviously well connected and know lots of famous people perhaps you could arrange for us to go to the moon? If not would you mind giving us a lift to the shops as we are completely out of milk and eggs.

Buzz. USA (Full name supplied)

“Nigel Says”

Dear Buzz,

Fuck Off You Twat!