Dear Uncle Nigel,

My wife and I have just returned from Mamma Mia 2 – “Here We Go Owen” and it is obvious that you do not appear in this wonderful remake of this Welsh classic ?

I have also just noticed that you missed the recent Pete Crowhurst tournament, what’s going on?


My wife says that you are passed your prime and nearing retirement from the world of sport and musical theatre .

I personally. Don’t believe that is the case , you passed your prime years ago.

Felix our neighbour says that you are resting in preparation for Bridlington.
Norman down the pub suggests that you have been holding out for more appearance money ?

What is the truth ?
I think we sound be told !

Edith next door says you are the Messiah come to save the world from the evils of Trumpism,  but what on earth does she know her husband is an MP and as thick as a door stop !

Meanwhile can you answer a friend of mine’s problematic question please :

What does Brexit mean ?
How do I , I mean, How does He, explain to his playing partners how a Titliest turns into a Dunlop whilst in the short rough ?


Best regards
Harry Kane
Full kit supplied.


Dear Harry,

Fuck Off you Twat !.

Ps. Nice Golden Bootee !


Do you have a Golfing problem.

Click here to contact “Uncle Nigel”

He is always here to help