Breaking news from SEVE Bet today revealled that Sir Micheal King, known to his friends as old misery guts  “Kingey”  has returned to the Portugal Tour after a break of 2 years.

Asked how he felt about his re joining the tour Kingey was ebullient :

“Well, where should I start. The greens better be in tip top shape and those trees better have not grown anymore ! I am of course concerned about the Tee times ! That twat who organises these bun fights has a penchant for playing in the middle of the night , just because the lazy bastard can’t get out of bed we have to play a 4.30 pm every bloody day, ridiculous !”


SEVE BET founder MK welcomed Sir Micheal in his inimitable style:


“Whats he on about ! For crying out loud  ! He will be after bloody appearance money next !”

Other news just in concerns the return of Lord Chilly of Uzerlam as Captain of the Delinquents Team in this years Concessionaires Cup. In 2019 Lord Chilly joined the Concessionaires team handing over his long running captaincy to the ever popular  well known golfing guru Nigel Carby.

“As the senior man, in more ways than one, I am pleased to rejoin my old team of Delinquents. Nigel took the reins last year and of course failed spectacularly to win the competition. The team need firm and wise guidance which of course I can provide in abundance.

Not to put to finer point on it, without me in charge the Delinquents are finished.

After 6 years we are 4 to 2 down, where has the discipline gone where is the fighting spirit ?

I’ll tell you where, I don’t know, but I am sure it is hiding somewhere !”

Nigel was disappointed when informed of this change:

“Who ?  When ?  Are you sure its me ?”