In a crushing victory that can only be described as a “Crushing Victory” Sir Michael von Rushall has triumphed in the 2015 Portuguese Glof…. Err Golf Tour.

After 6 grueling rounds and some golf as well Slop had amassed a 16 point lead over second place man Pistol Pete Crowhurst. In 3rd place the plucky Hoppy Dearsley trailed Crowhurst by 1 point and one point further adrift in 4th place was former champion Mikey King. In 5th , 6th and 7th respectively were MK Seve, Capt Carby and Dr Biff seperated by just one point.

Bringing up the rear was last years winner Lord Chilly of Chilly. In a somewhat heated, yet pertinent, comment Lord Chilly said “well he’s a cunt, isn’t he!”

The winner himself commented graciously “Well look at the state of them all, mostly old, mostly hung over, it is no surprise I came first, I am just better than them”

Handicap Secretary and 6th place man this year, Nigel Carby said “I am very relaxed about it really, next year he is playing off 8, that will sort the twat!”