The PGA today revealed the 2018 Portugal Tour tee times. Following on from the controversial 2017 “Night Golf” fixtures, secretary Hoppy Dearsley commented :
“Look last year was really not a problem, everyone was supplied with torches, and in some cases compasses and miners helmets, I really don’t know what the fuss was all about, we did’nt loose anyone did we ?
Oh yes, but we found Monty eventually, obviously in a hedge but he was happy, wasn’t he ?”
Leader of the “Daylight Only” Golf group Sir Micheal King was adamant:
“Any tee time after 7.30 am is a sin ! As written in Caddies versus 9 -17 “Thou shalt not play golf in the afternoon you twat !” Nuff said as far as I am concerned.”
Nigel Carby recently rebuilt international man of mystery summed up the situation:
“Look you get on a plane , you play golf, you drink beer, you come home. Anything else is a bonus or in my case very confusing.”