The Kowal Corporation owners of SeveBet, SeveTravel and SeveCare today announced their intention to to be the multiple sponsors of the prestigious Bridlington Admirals Cup.

This golf tournament, the last Major of the calendar year, is now in its 785th year having been inaugurated by Ethelred the Naughty during his rather badly documented tenure as King of The Yorkie.


Ethelred, of course, fought against William the French Twat for many years famously defending Flamborough Golf Course against an unruly band of French men who turned up demanding to play 18 holes on a Saturday in September. The battle did not go well for Ethelred, known lovingly by his men as Eth the Four Wood because of his penchant for clubbing his opponents to death with his trusted Taylor Made 4 wood. Eth’s forces were forced back to the 12th tee with their backs against the sea. The battle raged with men falling on all sides until boldly Ethelred told the French chaps that there had been a mistake and they could go off the 10th if they liked.


Even today on that very same 12th Tee, if you look closely, you can still see just the tip of Ethelred’s 4 wood sticking out from the hallowed ground where it fell  when knocked from his hand at the height of the onslaught and was buried with him under the Tee when he finally died of old age in 1963.


MK Seve spoke at the press conference:


“Here we go again more money down the shitter for these bloody golf tournaments”. “The microphone is on MK!”


“As I was just saying it is such a great pleasure to announce yet another superb opportunity to promote the great game of golf in Yorkshire, home of the “Northerner. My commercial operations SeveBet, SeveTravel and in particular SeveCare are proud to give some of the older gentlemen and obviously potential clients a chance to spend their last few days of freedom hacking around the cliff tops of the North Sea. Me and my team are really enthusiastic and excited and we can’t wait for September”.


“Although personally I would never go North of the Watford Gap, they did’nt hear that did they ?”


The Tee times and courses in full :


Fri 14/09/2018                   1.30pm at Hornsea Golf Club – 6 players (practice and familiarisation)


Sat 15/09/2018                  1.30pm at Bridlington Belvedere Golf Club – 12 players


Sun 16/09/2018                 12.15pm at Filey Golf Club – 12 players


Mon 17/09/2018               11.00am at Flamborough Head Golf Club – 12 players


A full list of players contesting the Admirals Cup will be announced later in the year, if any of last years contenders can be tracked down. Defending champion Stewart “Biffa” Amos was not available for comment but his press agent Sir Michael King said:


“I saw him down the pub the other night, he looked fine.”