Dear Dr. Biff,
Ever since I have stopped turning to pot my game seems to have gone completely “to pot”. Should I return to smoking the old curly weed and die of respiratory related diseases or is there another solution? I am literally at my wits end. Please help.
Lord Blatter (Real name withheld)
Dear Lord Blatter,
Have faith my son. As a professional sports person myself the temptation to use “Performance Enhancing” drugs is always with us. I implore you to resist under all circumstances. It is the path to sorrow and the dark side and nothing good in this world has ever come from the use of these substances. Resist my friend be strong and you will find a way through and out into the light. Your natural talent, which we have all seen grow over the years, will return and with it the spoils of victory and success.
Keep the Faith and stay with the light.