Dear Dr Biff,

I have recently been reading on Golf Ok that Tony has won the recent historic golf challenge that is the Admirals Cup  in Bridlington. As a follower of the Golf OK tour I noted that this is Tony’s first appearance and I wondered where he fits in in the golfing world.

My wife, who is a keen Eastenders fan suggests that he is a long lost relative of Pete the Crowhurst who has just returned from probably Spain. She also thinks that he is probably the love child of Lord Chilly of Ouslem’s 7th wife Nadia who was having a clandestine affair with MK Seve whilst he was in a hypnotic trance brought on by being hit by a flying golf club. Meanwhile he, Tony, has returned to seek revenge on Carby the Fixer for beating him in a life or death golf match in 1984 in which Biff, before he was ordained, fell to his death in a bizarre bunker accident only to miraculously re appear as Monty’s double in the film of the same name.

Dr Biff is this true, we must be told !


Ploppy of Incontinence (real name withheld)


Dear Ploppy,

No its not true , Twat.

Although some of it might be.

Dr Biff.

Do you have a problem.

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