Dear Auntie Nigel/ Dr.Biff,
Further to Em Kay’s french letter regarding Erectile disfuction(sic) I would like to offer a potential solution. I always find that putting orange peel in your garden works a treat, or is that for fucking annoying pussies that shit in your garden. If that doesn’t work you, sorry, he, could always try only shagging beautiful young women. That always works for me, and you don’t even have to shut your eyes to imagine something horny.
By the way always take your own condoms as asian ones are too small.
Cas A. Nova.(Supplier of toilets to South East Asia)
Name & address variable.
Fuck off you twat!