Dear Mo,

I have been unable to sleep for many days worrying about this years nearest the pin competition. I have realised that there are 5 par 3’s at Pinta and 6 par 3’s at Silves. My concern is that when I win all of the 5 euros the prize fund will be 15 euros short. As a gentleman and a scholar I would not wish to bankrupt the golf society so I think the only fair and decent thing is for you, the organiser, to stump up the extra 15 euros. If it makes it less embarrassing for yourself you can pay me in advance on Tuesday at Rugby.
Worried from Wugby (by e mail but probably a different Worried of Wugby)




Dear Worried,

The good Lord said “Fear not and thou shalt be not be fearful of the fear” He was a little worse for wear at the time.

Having made discreet enquiries The Great Wazzo of accountancy land has, apparently, audited the Golf OK (Rugby and Southwell) competition accounts and has signed them off with a note to indicate that their superbness is huge. This means ,I presume, that the problematical extra Par 3’s  have been accounted for in the, hugely inflated, entry fees, now some $100.

More concerning is the give-away that someone , mainly Mr Worried, has been researching this years new courses, an offence punishable by  the ancient Chinese punishment of the “Bamboo Incontinence Pad”.

I will pray for you my son.

Take care,




Ps: This also means that you can add up ! This is how the Editor knew that the e-mail could not have come from Nigel !