Dear Nigel,

Are you the new King of Saudi Arabia? I have seen on the news that they have selected a new monarch to rule over, what is, one of the richest countries in the world. Rumor has it that they  were looking for someone who could drive through some liberal reforms and having heard this your name came to mind. My wife says that you look quite regal with a table cloth on your head. Is it you?

Ps: Did that Lineker bloke get you on match of the day ?  If he did were you wearing your tablecloth ?

Victor – York by e mail.


“Nigel Says”

Dear Victor,

Fuck Off You Twat!



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