Dear Nigel,

Does the Pope play golf? I am a devout Catholic and I also play golf, obviously not on a Sunday or any of the other Holy days, Christmas Day, Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night etc. My wife says I am a stupid hypocritical bastard and should renounce my beliefs forthwith and embrace her deep faith in Science and the obvious truths that the scientific world have brought us. She says that if the Pope does play golf then her head scientist,Dr Brian Cox would easily beat him. I think that they should have a fight to decide this issue once and for all. We are avid readers of your page and would really appreciate your view on who would win ?

Father Arma Geaddon (Ulster – Address supplied)

“Nigel Says”

Dear Farther Arma,

Fuck Off You Twat!