Dear Nigel, Is there really a Father Christmas?

Dear Nigel,

Is there really a Father Christmas. My wife says ” Father Christmas is a myth and all the presents are really purchased by one’s relatives and friends and the Santa chap does not exist”. When I heard this , probably with hind sight , foolishly, I flew into a rage and beat her to death with a frying pan.

Still it means I can now play golf on Boxing day , which is a result. I write to tell you this in the hope that you won’t tell the Police. If you don’t tell them there is a fiver in it for you.

Merry Christmas

Eric of Brent – Address supplied.

“Nigel Says”

Dear Eric,

Fuck Off You Twat!

ps. Put the fiver in the post. nuff said