Dear Uncle Nigel,

Annie (Not real name) and I (Not really Von Denzel  oops.)  joined Radcliffe golf course. One of the reasons was its just about flat and we can get back to the outdated method of walking a golf course. Third world country!!!!!!! But we only had one old motorized trolly.

 So we spent untold hours studying all the options. We finally decided on a Motocaddy (Other trolleys are available) M1 DC something. Automatic braking…..very fancy.

 I took it out one day for 12 holes……another great advantage of Radcliffe, both the 9th and the 12th are right by the clubhouse. It was OK but seemed to be slow off the mark and sometimes the motor was going but little traction. I figured maybe it was new and needed to be ‘run in.’ Then I took it out again for 18 holes. The same, Burt worse. It needed a helping push almost all the time, then it managed it, kinda.

 So we dug out the emails and printed the purchase record and rang the internet supplier. He was a fine fellow and told me to go see the service engineer at Oakmere……that assault course Honest John is at. I rang and fixed up to see him the following day. I had all the documentation ready to go.

 The following morning I had a bright idea lying in bed……NO!!!!!!… idea about the trolly. So I went and tested it out. Bingo….problem solved.

 Those of you that are familiar with the Motocaddy M1 will know that one of its virtues is the ability to turn the wheels around so it requires 30% less space in the boot.




Please help is this normal behaviour ? Has this happened to any of your other readers ?

Mikey Von Denzel . Full name withheld.



Dear Mikey,

Fuck Off you Twat !


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