Dear Uncle Nigel,
Are you going to send a Christmas message to all of your readers this year?
Most of your readers, like me and my wife, have had a terrible year what with bloody Brexshit, the pound is down the shitter and the stock market tumbling like Niagara Falls !
We have all come to depend on you to raise our spirits over the festive period and to remind us that new hope will come in the new year.
My wife says that you are going to leave the message until the last minute to get the full surprise effect, but she also thinks that Gullible is not in the English dictionary !
Englebert down the pub says that you still don’t exist and you never have, but he also believes that if we finally leave Europe he will be able to run faster ?
My personal view is that we can always rely on you, you are solid, honest and true.
Don’t let us down.
Best seasonal wishes,
Justin Welby – Full address supplied.
Fuck Off You Twat !