Dear Uncle Nigel,

Is Donald Trump an alien invader ?

I and my wife and her friend Ethel are all keen watchers of the American political landscape and we are becoming more and more convinced that the new President is not of this earth and is actually an alien invader. There is a growing body of evidence that points in this particular direction, I have set out the main points bellow:

  1. He does not seem to know what he is doing or what planet he is on.

  2. He has no friends apart from other aliens and his close family (obviously aliens)

  3. He looks a bit like an alien.

  4. He is hell bent on having a war

  5. He never goes to the toilet (there is little real evidence of this but Ethel says she has never even seen a picture of him on the loo).

  6. He has only been to Scotland once (again this is not a convincing point but Ethel says it is important).

  7. He is American

  8. He does not wear underwear (I have told Ethel to fuck off home now).

  9. Mad people like him.

  10. He has ridiculous hair.

Well Nigel, convincing eh !

I think we should be told ! and so does my wife !

Best regards,

Wayne Rooney – Liverpool. Full address supplied.



Dear Wayne,

Fuck Off you Twat !

Ps: Nice goal against Man City !

Do you have a Golfing problem.

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