Dear Uncle Nigel,
Wha da flippin heck is goin on ? I have bin tlyin lately to be flendly and nice to evleeblody but bloody Donald Tlump he is just gettin madder an madder.
I only jokin wit my nukeulea rockets, dey don weally work, just keepin my pleople happy by showin dem dat I spendin all dare money wisley.
To be flair widout me old Tlumpy would be white up de shitter cos he would have no baddy to fite and wot wood he do ? start a fite wit dat Plutin fella – no fliggin chance cos dat boy got big nukes. Velly scary!
I flinking dat he is a leal dick head dat Tlump boy, why he no understand we no want a war we just don’t want dat Yankee crap dat he exports all over da world like bloody McDonalds an bloodly Tlom Cruise an bloody Flaceblook its all clap, an we don won it!
Nigel old fliend can you have a word and sort it out.
All da blest
Kimy (by missile) Full ploint of origin suppllied
Fluck Off you Twat !
Ps: Nice Pyongyang