Dear Uncle Nigel,

What the Fuck is going on ?

All the best,

D Trump.  Name and address withheld for security reasons.


Dear Donald,

Fuck Off you Twat !


Do you have a Golfing or Coronavirus problem.

Click here to contact “Uncle Nigel”

He is always here to help


As we are experiencing huge demand for Nigel’s advice and guidance in these difficult times,

and the fact that Uncle Nigel is self isolating with a Biblical quantity of wine and spirits the chances of any response are Nil or less than that.


But don’t let that put you off, send in your questions today and you have the chance of being entered into our £50,000 prize draw !


(Your chances of winning that are even less than nil.)