Dear Uncle Nigel,

My wife and I , and her friend Sandra have been concerned that we have not seen anything from you lately.

Are you OK, have you had the virus ?

My wife says that you couldn’t catch the virus because you are just so fit !

She also thinks that self isolation will make you go blind !


Let us know that you are OK.

Best regards:

Dominic Cummings – Full addressees supplied.





Dear Dom,

Fuck Off you Twat !

Ps: WTF are you like ?


Do you have a Golfing or Coronavirus problem.

Click here to contact “Uncle Nigel”

He is always here to help


We are experiencing huge demand for Nigel’s advice and guidance in these difficult times, why ? we have no idea. So if it takes longer for us to respond to your problem that’s tough tit !