Dear Uncle Nigel,
My wife and I , and her friend Sandra have been concerned that we have not seen anything from you lately.
Are you OK, have you had the virus ?
My wife says that you couldn’t catch the virus because you are just so fit !
She also thinks that self isolation will make you go blind !
Let us know that you are OK.
Dominic Cummings – Full addressees supplied.
Fuck Off you Twat !
Ps: WTF are you like ?
We are experiencing huge demand for Nigel’s advice and guidance in these difficult times, why ? we have no idea. So if it takes longer for us to respond to your problem that’s tough tit !