Dear Uncle Nigel,
Where is your New Year message ?
In these times of uncertainty and with the added sadness of a late Liverpool goal to contend with, my wife and I were looking forward to a cheering but sombre message from your good self to help us through the final hours of 2017.
But what have we seen, nothing , that’s what !
As you are aware it has been a difficult year for us normal people what with all the austerity and that stuff. We have had to make sacrifices !
This year we only went to New York the once, just 7 days in Portugal, the France trip was cut short and Prague was just a short weekend, no Bali and the Seychelles was right out !
These are difficult times.
Nurse Jones , at the clinic, says that there is no festive message because you don’t exist and that I should stop taking the red pills. Obviously Nurse Jones can’t be trusted to lance a bloody boil but she may have a point.
Since you had a head transplant this year you could be carrying on as a completely different person !
How would we know ?
My wife says that you are a busy man with international responsibilities and with massive financial dependencies to manage but she also thinks that Co Co the Clown sells perfume !!
I remain a loyal supporter and look forward to your pithy response to this epistle.
Bishop Paul Bayes (Mrs) Liverpool – by e-mail full address supplied – well the address of the church he goes to on Sundays.
Nigel Says :
Fuck Off You Twat !
Ps. Happy New Year.
PPs Nice Cathedral.