Dear Uncle Nigel,
I have been watching the news lately with great interest as it seems the new leader of the free world is threatening to bomb to oblivion a little Chinese chap who lives with his friends in North Korea. I fought in the last Korean war and it was jolly bad with lots of chaps dying and only Florence Nightingale and her plucky nurses to look after the wounded. Believe you me it was a shambles and I still tremble at the thought of the blasting cannons and flying shot.
My wife says that I was in the Crimean War not the Korean War and my memory is completely shot and I should shut up or go down the pub, stupid woman !
Still what do you think will happen ? Global conflict ? A preemptive strike ? Either way I have dumped all my shares in Samsung and Hyundai and I suggest you do the same, the little South Koreans won’t come out of this one with their inscrutable little smiles in tact, not this time around.
My friend Cyril down the pub says this is the end , Armygedon ! As you can see he can’t even spell Armageddon, but that’s not the end of the world is it ?
Let us know your thoughts on this one.
All the best,
Micky Fallon – By e mail (no name and address cos its top secret sshhhhh)
Fuck Off You Twat !
PS-Do you have any space in your nuclear bunker ?