Michael King 2013 Portugos Biggos Compos Champion today announced that he will not be appearing in the 2016 Portuguese Majors.


His agent and manager Carby the Turk said “Micheal will be joining an expedition to motorcycle up the north face of the Eiger followed by Kilimanjaro and finishing off with a race to the summit of Everest.

Mr King has been preparing his BSA Bantam for the last 5 years for this challenge and now the price of petrol has fallen to its current low he can now afford to make the trip.

We are disappointed but it is something he has to do before the tax runs out on his bike!”


Asked if he thought the arduous trip could take its toll on the concessionaires aging physique?

 Mr King replied: “Fuck off I’m going for a fag!”