Following on from Big “K” Shorrocks Portugal Tour default win claim last week MK Seve, of SEVE BET and more recently “VentilatorsRUS – Romania Ltd”  has put out a statement from his Seychelles Isolation Camp claiming that all the indicators point towards his own retention of the Portugal Tour Crown:


” Gentlemen Easy Jet have now grounded their fleet and thereby put the kybosh on this years Portugal Tournament. Hoppy Dearsley is working hard to recover the financial situation and he has our full support. Reluctantly I guess I will have to add my name to the Trophy for 2020 obviously accompanied by an asterix.  Nobody, especially me , like an asterix but it will mean that I will , by default , be retaining the Trophy for 3 years in a row, the first player to achieve this ! I will be having the engravers perform the ceremony immediately and of course claim the cost back from next years kitty. Every cloud I guess ! “

Immediate reaction was unexpectedly brutal:

Lord Chilly of Uzerlam “You can F–k right off !”


“You can have an asterix on your nuts if you do !” Uncle Nigel in an unusually unrestrained outburst.


Sir Michael King challenged the General Secretary Hoppy Dearsley to sort something out , but even more challenging for him to “Keep it simple” !


MK Seve responded later in the day:


“I hear the murmurings of discontent, I will pay for the engraving myself !”


In a later still statement Hoppy Dearsley issued an official response:


“Shut the fuck Up ! We will hold the 2020 Tournament , Don’t know where , don’t know when but I know we’ll hold the Tournament once again “


“All together now –

We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
‘Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won’t be long
They’ll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song !



At this point communications seem to have ceased but no doubt they should be restored very soon.