Once again MK Seve President For Life of the Portugal Tour called a well attended Press Conference to showcase this years opening ceremony and the annual meeting of the Tournament Committee and the 2019 participating Players.

MK Addressed the assembled members of the press:

“Welcome one and all, here we are again 2019, what a year so far. Global mayhem ! Climate Change ! and Brexshit !

But on the up side Leicester are going to finish top 10 so all is well in the Universe.

On Tuesday 7th May this year I will be chairing the opening ceremony for this years Portugal Tour.

Performing on the night, we hope, will be Beyonce (whoever she is) and Ed Sheeran just to start things off, and to close the show I am approaching Wayne Fontana to see if he is interested in putting the Mindbenders together for just one more gig !.


Directly after the opening ceremony the serious business of the Tournament will be addressed and, as I did last year, I have prepared a comprehensive agenda for this occasion, which is set out below.


This is an important event, and definitely not an excuse to fool about , get pissed and start off the week as we mean to go on, that is right out !


I am going to introduce a 9.30 curfew for all competitors with serious penalties for any breach of this discipline.

And this year the excuse that “I couldn’t remember where we were staying”, will not be accepted !”


MK was then carried off by adoring fans looking somewhat exhausted.

The meeting agenda was distributed to the press and no doubt public reaction will be forthcoming.

Watch this space!


Tuesday 7th May 2019 – Annual General Meeting – Portugal Tour 2019.

Venue to be announced but it will probably be a place that sells Super Bock.

 1. The Presidents opening remarks and Welcome to everybody and special greeting for our new member.(no relation)

2. Playing rules, putting out, provisional balls etc and any other qualms concerning the golf.

3. Behavioural issues on and off the course including the ugly business of discipline and restraint to be presided over by Madam Whiplash.(once again no relation)

4. Introduction of our multi faceted General Secretary Hoppy Dearsley to explain the handicaps for this year and answer any questions and finalise Buggy arrangements.

Hoppy will also preview this years new event “The Super Bock Handicap Steaks” and explain format,playing order and other important stuff.

Entry fees of 115.00 Euros will be required at this time.

5. Introduction of our very own Stato, Mr Nigel Carby who will entertain us with some amusing facts and launch this years lost ball count amongst other juvenile activities.

6. Kitty Rules. (OK)

7. Quiz night (with Lord Chilly of Uzerlam) and day off strategies.  BBQ or other suggestions will be discussed.

8. Toast to absent friends.

9. A.O.B.