Breaking News in the golfing world as SEVE BET announce that veteran Portugal Tour player and keen Hedge Explorer Paul Monty Monty has withdrawn from the 2021 UK **Portugal** Tour.

“My diary is completely full !” said Monty earlier today. “I have coloured in nearly every page and I will be buying a new one or perhaps an exercise book later this week.

The Portugal Tour , I have discovered, is apparently not in Portugal , and this is the second year on the bounce.

Last year was confusing but this is taking things too far. I think that Hoppy chap has completely lost the plot, if he had a clue in the first place. I will be back if and when we go to Portugal.

I think the clue is in the name Portugal Tour. Some people eh !”

As Monty withdraws a new name for this years  tour has been announced in the person of Mark Hinds , known to his friends as Mark Hinds. Mark is a regular on the Tuesday golf championship and he was pleased to be invited to join this years tour.

“Obviously I am very pleased to join the Portugal tour even though it is not going anywhere near Portugal this year. The standard of golf in this group of professionals is , how can I put it, at a level which gives me a really good chance of winning ! So bring it on. ” says Mark.

“It will be great to rub shoulders with the likes of Nigel Carby, the Golfing Guru and Lord Chilly of Uzerlam but I am disappointed that MK Seve himself will not be playing this year.”

“I am though a little confused with some of the Tour protocols, for instance this invoice from SEVE-CYBER for £50,000 ! Apparently its all a really good investment ? “

The Tour kicks off at Whitefields Golf Club in just under 9 weeks time culminating with 2 days in Greetham Valley in mid August, which will incorporate the Super Bock Handicap Steaks.  Watch this space for more news.