Yes it was the big one , that’s our Tone !
16 men , fine and upstanding everyone , on the first Tee at The Welcombe Golf Club, on a Sunday, local well wishers and foreign asylum seekers waving enthusiastically, what a way to start a golf competition.
The first 9 went well with Lord Chilly edging into a small lead and then the heat started to take its toll.
Mick Rushal , who was carrying his clubs, started to feel the strain, but after taking the 4 house bricks out of his bag was pleased with how easy the walking had become.
Young Jamey , representing the youth on the day, was surprised by some of the language used by the older members, later when he had consulted Wikipedia , he wished he hadn’t.
After 18 long holes Chilly, Tony, Nigel and Mick R not unlike the 4 Riders of The Apocalypse were out in front.
Monty Monty , who had a particularly bad day was bringing up the rear and everyone’s favourite, Big K Shorrocks, was languishing in mid table, much to the surprise of all.
Young Danny Large was capturing the nearest the pin prizes during the first day although there was to be much controversy over Nigel Carby’s 6th hole shot which finished within a gnats nut of the edge of the green.
None of this was helped by the nearest the pin administrator, you know who you are, who could not remember who had actually hit any of the greens !
After a quiet night of contemplation, prayer and copious quantities of holy water the competitors assembled on the first tee following a hearty breakfast and water purchasing.
The heat was on ! Or as some players pointed out “Fuck Me Its Hot !!”
Round 2 unfolded, it was to be a 5 hour 40 minute journey into the fires of hell, or Warwickshire.
In the end, and for some it very nearly was, Tony won the second day only to be beaten into second place overall by on form man Lord Chilly of Uzerlam.
“It was a fine victory I must admit.” Chilly pointed out. “My secret, Commando ! and I’m not talking military service !”
Also in the prizes Uncle Nigel Carby, Kevin, as ever, plucky Hoppy Dearsley with only one working leg in 5th and Tom in 6th place. All worthy winners.
Final comments come from the man himself as player and CEO of sponsor SEVE-CYBER Tony Bryan :
“Thank you one and all ! A) for turning up and B) for not letting me win !”