The mighty Pete Keeping strode in a stroding manner to a deserved victory in this years Very Old Masters. A massive crowd  a few people gathered for the exciting prize presentation at Parkstone golf club.

Bob Dearsley, sponsor and founder of the prestigious event  spoke to the excited fans:

“I didn’t win anything you bastards ! But this is not about me ! Even when I was nearest the pin on the last with a magnificent 210 yard superb golf shot ! But this is not about me !

I would like to congratulate today’s champion Peter “Me old Mate” Keeping he played a blinder and deserved this win. Even now my team are tracking down the alpine doctor who treated him for his serious skiing injury, obviously to thank him from all of the contestants, and then we may knock him about a bit !”

Second place man Boze Grills was enthusiastic :

“I came second you know !”

Even now planning for the 2019 event is already underway: Doug Ogilvy, who dragged himself into 4th place spoke for the team:

“Is it over ? Can I lie down now ?”

3rd placed Joe Dearsley helped the older members by explaining what was going on and debutante Allan Boothroyd was to busy to be interviewed as he was trying to contact his lawyer apparently someone in a single seat golf buggy had run over his foot 4 times.

Clive Dearsley, organiser and grumpy twat summed up the 3 day event:

” Which twat took the photograph ??”.