The scene was set, as was the concrete and the custard, but this was important !! 9 men, should have been 10, stood ready for , what could be called THE Golf Tournament of the year, but it was The VOMs 2023.

The youth were out in force J Dearsley, J Dearsley and J Dearsley were all favourites for this years Bournemouth outing. A Dearsley , B Dearsley and C Dearsley were also in the running and some other people were there also. Young Dougie Ogilvy had to withdraw at the last moment but this was not connected with his surname not being Dearsley.

Day 1 at Crane Valley Golf Club in the bosom of the Dorset countryside was ready for the players as they appeared from all over the country and Europe as well, wherever that is !

Allan Boothroyd, returning veteran of the VOMs tour, strode out to tumultuous applause and to everyone’s surprise including Allan’s, banged in 36 points to set the tone for the tournament.

At the end of the first day Bob in 2nd place and Ian Waterhouse (of Fashionista fame) in 3rd thought they were in good shape for the week, how little did they know !

Peter Keeping, local hero and Slimmer of the Year contender , lead the players out on day 2 at a superbly prepared Parkstone Golf Club. Peter was surrounded by Securicor personnel as he , apparently, had just picked up a large amount of cash from the other players, we don’t know why.

As the day unfolded Joe and Jack Dearsley pilled on the pressure with 42 and 41 points sending signals to the rest of the pack that their intentions were anything but “Oh lets just enjoy a game of golf !”  At the end of a magnificent day Jack picked up the inaugural Gardeners World Weed Trophy  knocking a stunned Allan into second place and Joe into a gallant 3rd.

Was this the youth establishing superiority ? Indubitably !!

At this point in the proceedings many of the players became disorientated.

Day 3,it was announced, was not until the 4th day and due to previous commitments 2 players wandered off to a Tank Museum and another boarded a train to London.

Those who remained set off for The Isle of Purbeck and took part in the Anti Tank Challenge which Jack won by one point from Clive and 2 from Ian.

Allan was further confused by the whole experience and spent, what were obviously very happy moments , in more bunkers than the boy Hitler has built !

Day 4 Meyrick Park, serious stuff, the final round.

Jack was 4 points ahead of Allan, now out of the bunkers, and 5 or 6 ahead of the pack.

The battle commenced. Joe and Jack head to head with Jamie hanging on and vying for victory.

On the 17th tee Joe stood  eyeing the fairway with , what he thought was, Victory in his grasp.

Joe had 5 iron in hand, everyone else had drivers but Joe didn’t want to go through the green some 435 yards away.

Instead he found the trees and trouble and strife and Jack held his nerve and slid in 35 points taking the day from Joe and Jamie on 33.

This gave Jack a clean sweep !! The VOMs , The Gardeners World Weed and The Crowhurst Trophy.

He was ebullient as he addressed the crowd.

“Yep, I dun it and I dun it good !!!

It was at this point when the proceedings became a little tense, there were a number of reasons for the tension.

Primarily Manchester United  commenced a penalty shoot out against Brighton for a place in the FA Cup Final  and also Hoppy Dearsley could not find any of the prize money. But calmness returned with United’s triumph and no one was actually bothered about the prize money !

Bob Dearsley, franchise owner summed up the proceedings :

” You’ve all done very well ! Now buggar off I have cheese to prepare !!

The Grand Slam !!!

The Girl Guides !

 

AND !

The BELL !!!!!

 

 

THE VERY OLD MASTERS 2024 – YOU BETCHA !!!!!

Dougie asking Starmer if he wants to play !!