Dear Uncle Nigel – It Must Be Christmas !!
Dear Uncle Nigel,
Christmas is here again ! Well well Putin is still blowing up Ukraine , Trump is still blowing up boats and other unsavoury stuff ! The Chancellor is doing some stuff , apparently that’s what they do ! and well the winter has arrived and we are wet and dismal.
But Uncle Nige why am I asking your for help again ? Well it is getting a bit troublesome. My mate has been done for helping out the Russkies , 10 bloody years cor blimey. What worries me is that the bloody lefty press will be looking through all my stuff , again. What’s the problem eh ! I’ve only been on Russian TV a few times , well 13 , but not for ages and some of the bloody irks I was at school with are dibbing me in for calling them names , bloody cretins.
Why can’t they just buggar off and let me get on with it. This being an MP is a doddle , you don’t even have to turn up ! Bit like the Euro place but you get even more money and expenses and an even better pension , I can’t believe I’m still getting away with it. Remember the NHS bus stunt, £350 million a week for the NHS, laugh , I nearly bought a round and some of the shmocks still believe me !
Nige what should I do , got to hang on to the next election , only 2 years or so . Should I move to the USA to be with my mate Donald , anywhere is better than having to visit bloody Clacton every other week or should I hunker down and hope I don’t get sussed out.
Let me know your wise thinking.
Merry Xmas
Anon (Clacton)
Dear Anon,
Fuck Off You Twat !
Oh and 2025 Happy Christmas and a preposterous New Year to one and all !!!
