Dear Uncle Nigel,

I have been reading recently about this Chinese Corona Virus, bloody hell what is happening.

Is it the Black Death all over again ?


My wife is particularly concerned and is taking the whole thing very seriously.

No more Chinese takeaways in our house ! No more Peking Duck flavoured crisps !

She has even started throwing out anything that remotely looks like it was made in China.

I have had to hide my iPhone most of my clothes and I even found her looking menacingly at my golf clubs but I managed to sand paper off the Made in China embossing just in time.


Nigel , this is a bloody nightmare.

Farouk down the pub says that it is the beginning of a Global Pandemic !

Which is surprising because up to this point I thought that was a type of cocktail.

Is this the end of civilisation ?


I had been planning a world cruise, taking in Hong Kong and Vietnam but now, I think it will be Skegness again.

Mind you there are a lot of Chinese Takeaways on the sea front down there.

Is there no escape ?


More importantly I am concerned about the forthcoming major sporting events of 2020.

There is the 2020 Euros, The Olympics in Tokyo and most important The Portugal Tour.

Will these major events be affected ?


I am also concerned about the Admiral’s Cup in Bridlington  in September but as Farouk also points out even a bloody Corona Virus wouldn’t want to go to Bridlington !


Back in the old days we used to drink Corona without fear of a long lingering death, 4 or 5 flavours and just 1 shilling and thrupence a bottle, how times have changed.


Still its not all bad, we will be out of Europe soon with all the fabulous benefits that Boris and the boy Farrage have promised us we will all be millionaires by the summer !

These are worrying times and we look forward to your wisdom and guidance.

Yours with hope,

Tedros Adhanom (WHO, Geneva) by e-mail.




Dear Tedros,

Fuck Off you Twat !

p.s Keep taking the tablets !


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